service was VERY GOOD today.

in line with the message val shared, pastor tan talked about CHANGE. and to stop the enemy of ambivalent, and procrastination.

enough said. i need to move on, and work it out. no more procrastination.

i dont want to be like samson. born in a place of in between, and throughout his whole life, making wrong decisions, and died in the place of in between - back to square one.

i dont want to live my life, not daring to step out, not daring to try things, not daring to do things. and then, at the end of my life, really, having nothing to my name, except fear of stepping out. spirit of procrastination and ambivalence.

i dont want that.

near the end of the service, we sang the new worship song, and it's my first time singing it, and i just broke down there.

i just cried down there. the words etched into my heart. every word i sang, i meant it from my heart. and i just broke down there. cried and cried and cried. i felt God speaking to me so clearly.

"are you willing to go to Eshtaol? to seek Me? to find Me? are you willing to be focused, and not be distracted by the cares of the world? relationships, friendships, family problems, work, people. are you willing to focus on Me, and only Me? are you, willing to, climb onto the altar, and lay down your life once more? it's not going to be easy, but you know, I hold your hand. are you willing?"

i said "Yes" and just continued weeping down there.

God just flashed pieces and pieces of memories in my head. how he told me to go to SOT, how he brought me through the 5 months. and then, landing a job in APL, and many many others. He is faithful, He is good.

and i just want to go back into His presence once more.

sorry if it sounded too spiritual, but i want to blog down today's experience before i forget. because it's one that i will never forget.

i touched God's heart today, and He touched my heart back. :)

i will lift my heart and sing
i will worship You my king
earth and heaven now proclaim
Jesus Christ the mighty name

Through the storm and raging sea
i will never be alone
when my hope seems out of sight
i know You will shine Your light

alleluia 3x
alleluia to Christ the lord