many things happened today.

* i said something which i shouldnt have, and i just felt awfully bad about it. i still hadnt muster up enough courage to say i'm sorry.

you know, it was just one incident, but it's bad enough to cover up all the other good stuffs that happened today.

* huifen did jelly for us and it tasted very nice. though the gesture was simple, but i felt loved. when was the last time you did something for someone?

* morgan, gillian, richard and me went to suntec to have lunch. it was pouring cats & dogs, and the spicy kimchi soup just warmed me up all over on the inside. goodness gracious, God bless richard's stomach - he added like SO MUCH chili powder, and a small serving of chili sauce. and he can still say his soup doesn't taste spicy.

* i absolutely loved the weather these days, especially today, it REALLY makes me feel as if i'm back to HK. :)

* i came into office late today because i had meeting till 1145pm last night.

* i left the office early. :)

* i managed to convince richard to take the train instead of the bus. ha ha.

i have been thinking a bit these days. actually, to be honest, i am a thinker. i think a lot. about good stuffs, about bad stuffs. the past, the present, the future. i think about them. but i am not really a do-er.

that is one habit i need to change (as soon as possible).

i was just reading someone's blog, and to be truthful, i am VERY inspired. i actually felt guilty, and slightly shameful of myself after reading those inspiring posts.

you know, watching PK loving God so hard, so much, so deep, is inspiring. but somehow he seemed so far far away. he seems so high up, and thus, you feel it's so 'natural' that he can love God so much the way he does right now.

but seeing someone else, someone you deemed 'within your planet', loving God so much, makes you really do a self-check, self-examination.

there is really so much i can do, for myself, for my family, for my friends, for my members, for my leaders, for GOD! but i am just such a procrastinator. i really need to have my heart broken more. i want to go back to the past, where i find God so easily.

prior to the early question i posted about what Ed asked me:

"If God is omni-potent, then why does He still wants us to seek Him?"

Because, only the true hungry and thirsty people will see Him.

It has been such a long time, since I last broke in His presence, since I get excited over a Word, since I spent time seeking, loving Him, since I went all out to serve Him, to do His calling.

I am turning 21 this year, it's like a new phase for me soon, and I don't want to just grow older in age, but not in maturity, not in breakthrough, not in wisdom and knowledge. Life is too short, to just watch it go by.

Life is too short to say to yourself, "There's always tomorrow."

I am sure PK will not agree with that sentence. To him, and all the great spiritual (or not) leaders out there, what needs to be done, has to be done NOW.

It is almost mid-March.

I want to find back my first love.