We quarreled again today.

Is it my fault? I just wanted to clarify a simple thing and I got shot back in the face.

Was that such a dumb question that I should not even ask?

I don't know.

Sometimes I really don't know who I am, what I am, who I can become, what I can do, how I can do and what will I be.

A few strings of unhappy words followed the conversation.

I really really really really, seriously, honestly hate arguing with him because he is my best friend.

Maybe because the better we know one another, the more flaws will surface and the more we get affected easily because our expectations for one another just got higher and we just kept being disappointed time and again because they failed our expectations.

I was affected negatively again. And I don't like that feeling.

The feeling is like someone dumping ICE COLD water on you. It's cold hard truth being slammed into your face.

All you can react is negatively as the icy cold feeling spread from your bones to your blood.

I don't like to throw temper.

I don't like to show black face.

I like to run about, laughing freely, having the wind in my hair.

I like to joke and make people laugh.

But I feel that these few months, I am becoming less and less of me.

But at least 2 good things happened tonight which made me slightly happier.

:)