i really am. i received the breakthrough that i have been wanting and asking for!

it has been a really busy week, but God has been so good to me.

on Sunday, pastor kong preached an awesome message on Jonah, who served God, who loved God, but at the same time, blamed God for the happenings around him that are bad, not so good, terrible and many whanots.

and then at the end of the day, pastor gave an altar call for those of us who felt like Jonah.

who tirelessly served God, took care of His people, His ministry, and yet temptations came, setbacks came, misfortunes came and bad things happened.

and then you wonder where is the source of strength God promised?

where's the breakthrough?

where's the light at the end of the tunnel?

i was feeling really tired and worn out the week before. i had sooooooooooooooooooooooo many things on my mind. each of them weighing a ton.

so many things had happened over the month and every single incident just seemed to be like a brick on my shoulder.

someone asked me to do something, and initially i was reluctant, but in the end, i still did it.

someone wanted me to help out with something. i did it, although i was busy up to my eyeballs.

i didnt even get a 'thanks' in the end.

honestly, i don't really care about 'please' and 'thank you', but it's just disappointing that a friend close to me could be doing this.

we should all learn to be appreciative, me included. oh well, i am really particular about these little things and whatnots, and i guess it's all these that really weighed me down alot.

and i really felt very heavy and weak, as if i could collapse any moment. my heart was heavy, my mind down and everything seems black around me.

so on Sunday, i felt really ministered as i felt God touching my heart during the Word, that tough times do come, but it is not to wear me down, or to crush me, but to make me stronger, and emerging better than i went in.

like Jonah, i need to go through the time of the plant, the time of the worm, and then the time of the east wind.

i went down for the altar call, together with my heavy heart, and a month's worth of suppressed tears. although pastor did not lay hands on me, i felt God's hands upon me as i stood at the front, with my hands lifted.

i cried like i have never cried before and i know God sees it and knows what i am going through.

so ever that service, i felt better immediately. the week passed by, but my heart was not that heavy, nor my mind that down.

indeed, God will be your very present help in times of need. you just have to call upon His name and He will be there for you. :)

alright, will update again soon! :)