i'm quite down for the past 3 days because of something that happened.

indeed, the WOG is so true.

those who exalts themselves will be humbled, and those who humbles themselves shall be exalted.

all these years, i thought i was a 'somebody', at least, 'better' than some other people. i can do this, i can do that.

but after the past 3 days, i realized that actually i'm a nobody.

a nobody trying to be a somebody.

im very disappointed in myself.

i felt that all i've did for the past one year, trying to pick myself up, going to SOT, is like wasted. i've tried hard to be a better person, but then i still failed.

i think ultimately, maybe i'm really a nobody. :(

but well, God is good. He spoke to me during p&w today and i felt better. slightly better.

serving in CS numbed my emotions, and i felt great helping out there. but once i leave expo, the sad lousy feeling sets in again.

i need to move on.

My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?
Why are You so far from helping Me,
And from the words of My groaning?
O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear;
And in the night season, and am not silent.

But I am a worm, and no man;
A reproach of men, and despised by the people.
[ps22]

// im feeling just like this. i feel like a worm, tiny, small and useless. but then...

The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
[ps23]

i will be restored and comforted. :))